The Things Nobody Tells You When You are Planning Your Wedding
- Natalie Quinn
- Jul 10, 2019
- 5 min read
***DISCLAIMER: The points I list below may not be true for all, but these are the things I found most true for me as a bride.***
-Most people are allergic to the mailing system. People don’t like to mail in RSVP cards anymore- opt for online or text RSVP’s and just keep track of it. We made the mistake of purchasing stamps for response RSVP cards to be mailed back to us and I cannot tell you the amount of people who either ended up personally handing us their RSVP card, sending it in after being nagged, texting us their response last minute, or not sending one at all. Give the people what they want and don’t waste your money buying stamps for responses.
-Bye Bye Budget. Your budget goes out the window the closer and closer you get to your wedding date. I budgeted so hard in the beginning, writing down every wedding related expense, but we found ourselves buying more and more stuff on Amazon in the last month leading up to the wedding and I never kept track of it. I know we went wayyy over budget for this wedding.
-SNACK QUEEN. Someone needs to be in charge of bringing snacks. The wedding day is very long and you don’t want anyone passing out during the ceremony, please make sure you and your wedding party are adequately fed. This is often something people don’t think about or can be easily overlooked.
-DAY OF EXHAUSTION. The tiredness that hit me was insane towards the end of the reception. You too, may be very tired by the end of your wedding. The wedding day is so joyous but also very tiring and long- you wake up early to get ready and then are on your feet for basically the rest of the day. You walk around and stand for taking pictures, for the ceremony, dancing, mingling with guests, etc. When we got in the car to drive away I was so giddy and happy and it also felt really good to just sit down lol.
-ETIQUETTE WHO?! Some people won’t follow proper wedding etiquette and you just kind of have to roll with the punches. There are last minute drop outs, last minute plus ones, uninvited guests, etc. People who RSVP’d may not show up- with or without warning. You may have a few guests let you know a few days before that they won’t make it, while others fail to let you know at all. People may bring their kids to adult only weddings. Other incidents that may occur that might or might not have happened to us is someone might try to RSVP 5 days before the wedding (also adding a plus one that you clearly didn’t give them)- all after you had already paid off all your vendors, literally unable to add another seat for them and somehow they are upset with you.
- BIG signs are really important. If you want people to read something- make it really big. If you have a sign at all I'm sure you want people to read it, so my advice is make all your signs big!!! Our ceremony was supposed to be “unplugged”- meaning no phone out to take pictures, but our sign was so small that no one saw or read it. Phones were everywhere lol it’s ok...
- You don’t need “something blue” unless you want “something blue”. Your wedding won’t please everyone, so do what you want for you and not for anyone else, especially for tradition’s sake. You can throw traditions out the window if you’d like. We slept in the same bed the night before our wedding. We stood on the opposite traditional sides for the bride and groom to stand for the ceremony. Believe it or not, we didn’t have “something blue”.
- Pre-wedding fights. The pre-wedding fights with your future spouse might be a reality for you. James and I are not typical fighters, but a week before the wedding, we found ourselves in countless fights relating to the wedding stress. My uncle called me a couple of days before the wedding and asked how the fights were coming along. I asked him how he knew we had been fighting last week and he told me that the biggest fight he ever had with his wife was a few days before their wedding. But people it’s ok and normal, my aunt and uncle have now been married for at least 40 years- they made it through and I know we all can too!!!
-Smaller can be better. Something I am really happy about is that we kept our guest list pretty small. I couldn’t have imagined having a wedding any bigger than what we had. We only had about 85 people and I feel like it was just perfect for us. I felt that I was able to really interact with each of them- if the wedding was any bigger I think it would have been really hard to interact with our guests. It felt really intimate like I was really hanging out with them, but also big enough for it to be a fun party!
- People get weird around weddings. Be prepared for weird family incidents, weird comments, and people feeling entitled. People may get offended if you didn’t give their girlfriend of two weeks whom you have never met a plus one, family may have their comments about how you decide to do things, etc. People will decide to bring up high stress (no-wedding related) topics to you as if they don't understand you are drowning in stressful (wedding-related) topics.
- Wedding Toast Regulations. Have a set person to read and approve the wedding toasts before hand. Give the toast-givers a time limit to follow. That’s all I have to say, thank you.
- Better than expected. The day is going to be even better than you ever expected or imagined. I kept feeling like the wedding day was this perfect dream and I was truly so happy with how it went. Even with the hiccups that are inevitable (expect a few of them and move on), the day just ends up being the most perfect thing ever. I just can’t get over our wedding day honestly- it makes me so happy just thinking about it.
- The AMAZING feeling when you drive off. This may not be true for everyone but no one really talks about this side of it, there’s no better feeling than driving away from your own wedding. Sounds kind of weird but think about it- the wedding you planned so hard for so many months (in my case, years) is now over- there’s no more $$$ or stress going into it and you just feel really really good with how the day had just went. Other people are helping to clean up and you are done and the day was a success. Now you get to go relax and run off with your fav person ever!!!!! Some people get sad it’s all over and I’m like peace out im ready to be a wife and not a bride. lol #honesty
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